A lot of times we see people who look so super successful and we think “THAT’S it!!!! That’s what I want to do! GAH! I wish I’d thought of that first.” And we start seeing all the ways that our stuff doesn’t measure up.
I know because this happens to me too. I follow a link and come to screeching halt because THIS is what I wished my stuff looked like. My brain starts spinning….
“Wow, she’s really put together”
“Gah! That’s brilliant! That’s exactly what I want to say!”
“It’s like she stole this right out of my dreams!”
and so on, until it starts to creep into this ugly space where I feel drawn to borrow bits and pieces. That’s such a hard place and alarm bells go off and I remind myself to step back, that I am not a copy, I am an original, and even though things look like we’re a carbon copy (only she’s got it all together), we’re not. Our audience isn’t EXACTLY the same, our views aren’t 100% identical, and I have something unique to offer.
We have to take a step back, really open our eyes wide and ask ourselves What EXACTLY is it that is resonating with us? And why? Rather than resorting to copying or mimicry, let’s deconstruct this so you can speak authentically with originality instead of being derivative.
When faced with these feelings, I dive right into a series of questions and I encourage you to try these out for yourself.
- What is it specifically that is calling out to my heart?
- What is it reflecting that I wish was true about my words/work/site/etc?
- What are they doing really well that I wish I was doing?
- What is it about the execution of their idea that is so powerful and captivating?
Once I’ve answered those questions as honestly as I possibly can (because if you can’t be honest with yourself you’ve got bigger problems), I dig deeper.
- What is DIFFERENT about how they approach the same subject?
- What is different about how they see the world?
It’s so tempting to see someone we think as successful and compare where we are in our journey to theirs. That’s a path that isn’t going to lead anywhere good. Asking “how long have they been doing this?” isn’t likely to give you any relief. Whether you’re comparing your start to their middle or you’re running on parallel tracks, you have to take heart in your own journey and know that it’s going at the right pace for you.
It’s easy to get caught up and think we need to invest in fancy gear or uplevel our business to be as successful, as powerful, as prolific and far reaching as someone else. Early on in your career, it’s not unusual to think “If I only had X, I would be better (and more successful”. The truth is, it’s not about gear or tools or having the money to invest in high dollar courses.
It’s all about consistency.
The great news is you don’t need more money to create consistency that is powerful and transformational. Awesome, right?